SPN Fic: The Path We Choose- (7/?)
Thursday, May 3rd, 2012 12:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tenoko1Title: The Path We Choose
Author: Tenoko1
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Takes place after Season five with references through Season seven
Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Sarah
Disclaimer: Do not own
Notes: Comments are much love.
One l Two l Three l Four l Five l Six
Podfic Master Post
Chapter Seven Podfic
Chapter Seven
“So are you and Cas, like, married now?” questioned Sam as he and Dean helped each other with their morning stretches.
Dean’s head snapped up sharply, almost bent completely in half as Sam pulled his arms forward, the bottoms of their feet pressed together.
“What?” Sam continued to pull, making Dean wince as all the muscles in his thighs protested. “Ow, ow, ow! Uncle! Easy up, Sammy! I’m shorter now! You keep forgetting.”
The younger Winchester immediately eased up. “Well are you?”
Dean glared at him again. “Dude, where do you come up with off the wall questions like that? Why in God’s name would we be married?”
Sam shrugged as Dean straightened and they shifted their grips so that now Dean was pulling him forward. “He made you his parabatai. That’s a big freaking deal.”
Pursing his lips, Dean considered this a moment then shook his head. “I think you’re over thinking this. He did it because it made sense, because he needed to be able to find us since we’re shielded from all angels. Cas isn’t sentimental like that; to him it was probably just a logical solution.” He snorted. “We’re not married.”
“I’d be okay with it if you were, you know.” Dean arched a brow at him. “Seriously. As long as you are happy, man, I am happy for you.”
Releasing him, Dean pulled his knees up, planting his feet on the ground, and easily rose to his feet, then offered a hand out to Sam.
“While you’re so busy trying to get me hitched to the nearest person that’ll have me, I would remind you I just got out of a relationship, dude.”
“Under mutual agreement because neither of you was actually in love with the other, so it’s not like you would be rebounding or anything.” They took their respective positions and began their Tai Chi session, movements mirroring each other’s.
“Are you still talking about Cas or a relationship in general?”
“Cas.”
Dean fought the urge to roll his eyes. Yes, he’d read the books, and granted, it had helped shed new light on how his and Cas’ interactions probably looked from an outsider’s perspective, the staring for awkwardly long moments of time Dean never realized they did, the invasion of personal space he didn’t notice anymore, the way they always seem to look at one another when the other person wasn’t looking, usually within seconds of each other.
Yes, he and Cas were close, yes, he would have done anything for him, and knew Cas would do anything for him, and maybe there were moments that happened that neither one of them acknowledged or talked about, like glances when their eyes did meet, faintest brush of contact, the way sometimes certain looks of Cas’ or from him made Dean… feel things.
But, seriously. Cas was an angel. He probably had no idea he did anything that might affect Dean, and certainly wasn’t doing it intentionally.
“Nothing’s going on with us romantically, dude,” snapped Dean, suddenly irritated. A scowl marred his face. “In fact, I think I’ve disappointed him.”
They stepped in sync, slow exaggerated movements that required a lot of concentration and balance to do with control. Sam had been right, this was working wonders for Dean in getting use to controlling his new body.
“How’s that?”
“He can barely look at me lately. I think he’s avoiding me.” His expression fell. “I think it’s because of this curse. I let him down getting myself stuck like this.”
Making a considering thought, Sam clicked his teeth. “Nah. I don’t think that’s it. Bobby and I noticed. Thought ya’ll had a fight. You can’t meet his gaze either, dude.”
Though he knew what Sam was talking about, Dean didn’t say anything. Things had been awkward between him and Cas, and Dean wasn’t entirely sure why. Part of the reason was him, he knew, the insecurity he felt in this new, smaller, frailer body, like he no longer measured up to his former self and was therefore a disappointment to those who depended on him. People who relied on him. He felt he had let them down, so surely they must feel, at least in some small part, that he had as well.
The other part was that Dean’s body was a lot more responsive to Cas like this. Things he normally could have forced down, compartmentalized, ignored, or played off were right there on his sleeve for everyone to see it felt like. Last thing he wanted was for the angel to realize he was the cause, because God help him, that was a conversation he did not think he could have. Ever.
“Well, either way, you need to get whatever the problem is out in the air, because seriously.” Dean glanced at him. Yep, that was Sammy. Everything had to be talked about and discussed. It didn’t annoy him as much as it use to. After living with Lisa and then after having read all the self help books he had in trying to force himself to cope with the loss of everything he held dear, go figure, little brother was actually right about talking helped. Not that he’d ever admit that to Sam, of course. “You might as well do it while we’re gone. Bobby’s going into town to restock supplies and groceries. Sarah and I will be gone a little while on our jog.” Sam gave him a pointed look, smirking. “I fully expect breakfast to be ready for all of us by the time we get back. Cas can help.”
This time Dean did scoff. “Dude, only you would make an angel do something like menial labor. Really? Cas? Cook?”
“As opposed to what? Standing around? Researching? He’s not exactly welcome in Heaven anymore and it’s not like he has other places to be on the planet. Guy must be bored out of his mind, Dean, and he’s not going to just ask if he can help- it’s not in his nature. At the very least, offer it to him, but let him know he can say ‘no’.” He paused. “And give Becky a call, too. She’s had time to get everything settled at Chuck’s.”
----
Apron tied around his waist, Dean swept his hair back into a pony tail, changed his mind, and quickly bound it up in a messy bun, then turned around and pinned his bangs out of his face with bobby pins the way Sarah had taught him. He thought about calling Cas, and would, because he knew if he didn’t, he’d still have to answer to Sam about it and then Sam would definitely be unable to not get himself involved at that point.
But, that didn’t mean he couldn’t put it off a little bit. He flicked out his phone, dialing Becky then switching over to speaker phone and setting it on the counter as he rummaged through the fridge.
“I was beginning to wonder when you were going to call, Dean.”
“Wanted to give you time to get everything sorted first before I started bugging you,” he told her, setting the carton of eggs out. There was a pregnant pause from the phone, so much so that he glanced at the screen to make sure the call hadn’t been disconnected. “Becky?”
“Dean?” She sounded as though she weren’t sure she’d answered the right person.
“Oh. Right. We had some trouble with a witch or something,” he explained. “She turned me into a girl temporarily as payment for helping us find Chuck. I did not get a sex change.”
“Well, you did, just not in the conventional way, but you wouldn’t be a Winchester if you ever did anything the normal way. So you met Gabbie, then?”
Fumbling with the milk carton, Dean did a double take at the phone. “How do you know about Gabbie?”
She made a sound and Dean was pretty sure she was rolling her eyes. “She was in Chuck’s notes, obviously. He wasn’t well organized at all, let me tell you, just notes jotted down on pieces of papers, I had to go back, find them all, then put them together in some sort of order. Do you want the rolodex run down or for me to pull her file?”
“She has a file?”
She sighed. “Yes, Dean. She has a file. I’m OCD about organization and being able to find stuff. You forget, I had a day job, fangirling is a hobby, I have to be able to function in an office setting. Off the top of my head, I can tell you that Gabriella is not a witch, and no, she is not Gabriel screwing with you, and that she will find you again, so don’t worry about finding her.”
“Then who is she?”
“The new Trickster. She was raised and trained to take over when Gabriel died.”
“He took on a protégé?” He snorted. “No wonder she reminded us of him.”
“Protégé nothin’. She’s his daughter.” The tomato he was washing flew right out of his hands in his surprise, he grappled with the wet orb in the metal basin with a curse. “Yeah, see. When Gabriel realized it was only a matter of time before he would be pulled into the fight with his family, he went into the past to have a chat with his former self and convince him what he needed to do. Gabriella’s part archangel, part demi-god, raised to follow in the footsteps of the Trickster as the new Loki.”
“Which means she has more than a bone to pick with us for getting Gabe killed. Perfect.” He may very well end up stuck as a chick. God, his life sucked.
“She doesn’t have a problem with you two. She just has his sense of humor. Sam was Gabriel’s favorite and after what Gabriel put Sam through with all the endless Tuesdays, and then Sam having to live for months in a world without you, Gabe ended up with a huge soft spot for the guy, but like, who wouldn’t, right? So Sam is off limits as far as serious tricks go, he told her to feel free to pick on ya’ll, mostly you, Dean, but not to hurt either of you. None of her tricks are permanent and she’s actually pretty nice.”
Understanding, Dean nodded. “That’s what she meant by Sam being off limits. Gotcha. That was all off the top of your head?”
“Of course not, I pulled her file. By the way, I’m about a quarter of the way into the rough draft of the new book, but seriously, you guys have got to keep me updated on what’s going on so I can keep the books accurate.”
“You are not to tell people that Gabbie turned me into a chick, Becky. Think up something else.”
“Currently all of you are back together and tentatively trying to start hunting together again- thanks so much for the call letting me know my poor Sam was alive and well after I’ve been an absolute wreck over his death, by the way. I appreciate that my feelings mean so much to you when you know how much I care about him.”
He winced. “Oh shit, Becky.”
“Yeah.”
“Look, I’m sorry. Things have been crazy. First Sam, then immediately being turned female, then trying to figure out how to change back and adjust to this body, plus I think Cas is pissed at me… I didn’t think. We should have told you.”
She sniffed. “Yes, you should have. We may just be crazy fans to you, Dean Winchester, but we all love you boys like members of our own families. We all mourned the loss of Sam, me more than most because I knew the books were true. I cried for weeks.”
For a moment, he suddenly saw things from her perspective. To read the books, know about their lives, of everything they were going through and to only be able to sit back and watch it take place, but unable to help? That had to be miserable. It was what got him back on this road in the first place was reading the books and wanting to derail the things to come.
“Sorry Becky.”
“How is Sam, since we’re on the subject?”
“Good. Getting stronger by the day. We do work outs together twice a day right now, retraining our bodies. Soon he’ll be good as new.”
She hummed on the other end of the phone, a slight giggle following, and he knew she was thinking something he wouldn’t like. “Oh what I wouldn’t give to see that. Sam all hot and sweaty, shirt off, and-“
“Becky!”
“Dean Winchester, you’re a woman now, you should be able to better appreciate a male body from a woman’s eyes.”
He very much wanted to shoot the phone if only so it would be like putting a bullet in the blonde in some fashion or other. “I am not a woman, Becky,” he growled. “The male body I have appreciation for is my own, and I want it like a junky wants a hit, except not in a narcissistic way. I wanna be me again, and just because I’m currently half a foot shorter, and ninety pounds soaking wet does not mean I’m suddenly a chick.”
“In this chest beats the heart of a very straight man,” she mocked, then snorted and shook her head. “Wow. One more reason I like Sam better, at least he’s honest with himself, but I get what you’re saying. Besides, now that I’m no longer a Wincest shipper, it would be kinda ick for you to suddenly be jonesing for your baby brother.”
“It was ‘ick’ when you captained the ship, Becky.”
“Hey, fandom is a judgement free zone.”
“Bullshit. I’ve been on the forums. All the fandom does is bicker.”
“We can squabble amongst ourselves, that’s one thing. It’s another when someone who’s not one of us says something against us. Then it’s ‘let there be wrath’. Back to the subject of hotties for another minute, please.” He waited. “How’s Cas?”
He eyed the phone curiously. “Cas makes your hottie list?”
“Dean, he probably tops your hottie list, so yeah, he’s definitely on mine, though Sam tops.”
“Okay, first off? I don’t ever want to hear ‘Cas’ and ‘Sam tops’ in the same sentence ever again, are we clear? Second, I am not discussing my hottie list with you.”
“Which is not a denial and a dead give away you think Cas is hot, which I already knew. So has he shown more curiosity about your girl body yet?”
“I don’t understand what you mean,” he told her honestly.
“You know: what it would be like to hold or kiss you in your current body. Guy totally wants you, he’s got to be curious about learning the new lines and shape of your body. Your angel’s inquisitive and curious, in case you forgot.”
“He’s not my angel, Becky, and if you were here I’d have probably stabbed you by now. Don't talk about him like that. Or us like that. At all. Not that it's any of your business, but Cas and I aren't in a relationship, like I kep reminding everyone.”
“Why are you acting all embarrassed talking sex when it comes to Cas? Seriously, talking sex or having it is like discussing the weather for you. You feel no shame unless the person involved means a great deal to you and only then do you ever exercise proper bedroom privacy.”
“Except I’m not sleeping with Cas. He’s an angel, for one, so I don’t think he can get romantic feeling for a human, or if angels can get romantic feelings at all. What is the deal today? First Sam asking me if Cas and I are married, now you’re bugging me about if Cas is showing any interest in my girlish figure.”
“Well, I suppose it’s because Cas loves you and you love him- love having many meanings here. And because he loves you, and the two of you are such good friends, not to mention how well you balance each other out, how you trust each other the way you do, and this incredible bond the two of you have… when there are two people like that, people that are best friends, family, allies, etc all rolled into one, I guess the hope of everyone around them is that the relationship will also become romantic as well to fill the one void both of you have. Because we love the two of you, know you care for each other, we think you would be happy together, and nothing makes us happier than seeing you happy, therefore, we think the two of you should get together and live happily ever after. And either have cute little half-angel babies or adopt. Either way, you’d both make great parents and Sam would be the coolest uncle ever.”
Dean rolled his eyes, snorting. “Fine, whatever Becky. Sam would make an awesome uncle, I’ll give you that. I just wanted to update you and see if you found anything that could be of help to us.”
“Oh, I could, but I won’t. I am not your strategy guide to life, Dean, you gotta get through it on your own or you won’t learn anything. Chuck didn’t give you the heads up on stuff and neither will I.”
“So Chuck did continue his writing past what happened in Swan Song?”
“Mm, no, not exactly.” Her heard her shift, then the sound of a file draw being opened. “His visions of the future weren’t always in order. Sometimes he got visions of things that hadn’t happened yet, but that weren’t happening in the current timeline, either, like things that were further still into the future. So I’ve got pits and pieces of the future, but not novels worth, more like short stories. Sometimes he saw things that happened in the past, like, back stories on characters.”
That sounded interesting. “Like who?”
“Let’s see… ‘Past Events’, here. I sectioned them off by character, but they aren’t exactly relevant to the current story, so there was no need to put them into any of the novels, it’s just like further insight into the characters. There are tons on you and Sam as Weechesters.”
“As what?”
“Y’know, when you were kids. Wee-slash-little Winchesters. Weechesters.” Dean snorted and shook his head. “There’s an entire folder on your time in Hell and your relationships there, like that weird sibling vibe thing you and Meg got into after enough years spending every day together.” Dean completely missed the green onions he was chopping, the knife slicing clean into his finger.
“Fuck!”
“Hey, at least you never slept with her whenever she would proposition you,” offered Becky helpfully while he scowled at the phone and poured cold water over his finger, hating prophets more and more. Was there no such thing as privacy?! “And like I said, none of these will see the light of day, probably.”
“Becky, you better damn well burn those files, do you hear me? Salt and burn those bitches like the evil they are.”
“Now you’re just being melodramatic. Let’s see, what else… Gabriel’s file goes through him watching his family falling apart, of him trying to patch things between siblings, pretending everything was okay, and then finally when he couldn’t take anymore. Lot of angst. There’s a couple in here about him raising Gabbie that are really cute. Castiel has a file, too.”
That peaked his interest again as he finished wrapping a band-aid around the gash on his finger. “Really? What are his about?”
“Why not ask him yourself?”
“Uh, he probably wouldn’t tell me?”
“Then it’s none of your business, now is it?”
He pointed the knife angrily at the phone. “Let me tell you something: you better be glad you are on the phone, because you keep talking smack like that and girl or no, I’d have probably decked you by now. Do not cop attitude with Dean Winchester.”
“More like Deana.” Why yes, he really did want to stab her at that point. “And you forget, Dean, your brother’s my favorite, therefore all my favoritism. Tell him I said ‘hi’ by the way and that I wish him a speedy recovery.”
“He’s dating someone who’s not you, Becky. It’s never gonna be you.”
“Careful, Dean, you sound a bit bitchy there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do, a novel to write, blogs to update, and my favorite show comes on today.” The phone beeped off, Dean glared hatefully at it.
“Oh I’ll show her bitchy.”
“You have to admit,” a new voice interjected, “that last statement of yours was harsh.”
He glanced over his shoulder to find Cas sitting at the table, hands folded together on the table top. Dean had no idea how long he’d been there.
“Excellent timing, you can help me make breakfast if you want. If not, I’ll take care of it.”
Tilting his head, Cas considered the offer for only a moment before rising, quickly removing his coat and rolling up his sleeves.
“I think I will. Please instruct me on what you would like assistance with.”
Wiping his hands on a dishcloth, Dean stepped over to the hook on the wall, retrieving the other apron. “You may wanna lose the tie, for one, and put this one so you don’t get food or grease on your clothes. Then you can cook the ground sausage while I scramble the eggs.”
Dean faltered as he watched Cas loosen his tie, their eyes accidentally meeting and locking. It was odd seeing Cas like this, his hair was more tousled than usual, his sleeves rolled up, and now with the tie… it was like primetime television with the office executive, or in Cas’ case an accountant, having a liaison at the office. Either his wife while on lunch break, but more than likely it was a forbidden relationship, so it was probably his secretary or a client or a girl who barely passed for legal, long brown hair and green eyes and-
Dean flushed bright red and shoved the apron at Cas before turning away, busying himself with skillets for both of them.
He cleared his throat, hating himself because he knew it was a giveaway that he was uncomfortable. “So when did you get here? I didn’t even hear you.”
“You were busy. I didn’t want to interrupt.” That so did not answer the question, but Dean couldn’t exactly press for an answer either.
Instead, he showed Cas how to cook the sausage, then he returned to his eggs and awkward silence fell heavily over them. He really needed to get Bobby a radio or something for in the kitchen. They had one out in the garage, but now, he really, really wanted one.
“Can I ask you something?” Dean blurted, turning his head slightly toward Cas, not really wanting to look directly at him. Cas gave him an inquiring look, eyebrows raised. “You aren’t mad at me, are you? For getting myself in this situation, like I let you down or anything, right? Because, I’m trying my best to get to where I won’t be a burden while I’m stuck like this, s-so I don’t want you to worry I will be, and I’m sorry I let this happened, some parabatai I am, right?”
Cas held up a hand. “Dean, stop talking.” The hunter’s mouth clamped shut and the angel turned to face him fully, head angled to the side. “You told me not to blame myself for having failed to protect you, that Sam was right there and could do nothing to help you either, so why would I be mad at you? There was nothing any of us could have done to prevent this, and you’re certainly not a burden, nor am I angry, and before you can ask, no, I do not regret making you my parabatai, so stop worrying about if you let me down or not.”
At a loss, Dean shook his head. “Then why won’t you look at me?”
Those blue eyes raked over Dean’s form, not leering, just looking. Setting his utensil aside, Cas stepped closer to Dean, right up in his personal space like he did so often, making Dean’s heart throb painfully against his ribs, eyes widening in surprise as he now had to look up at the angel’s face so close to his. Those blue eyes played over Dean’s face. When his eyes inadvertently fell to the angel’s mouth, Dean tried to take a step back, his face burning hotly, the hand at his waist that stopped him was like electricity running through him, making him hyperly aware of everything, yet deaf to much else besides the throbbing of blood in his ears.
“Because you’re uncomfortable around me now,” Cas stated softly, his hand falling away as he stepped back. “I didn’t want to make it worse when I knew you were already struggling.”
Startled, maybe by the sudden lose of heat or by Cas’s words, Dean reached out to grab Cas’ coat arm, forgetting the overcoat was discarded. His hand clasped the angel’s forearm. The blue eyes that had slid away now snapped back to meet his gaze; Dean struggled to find a voice.
“I-it’s not you. I’m not uncomfortable because of you,” he stated, “but because of me. I respond differently to everything now, especially you for some reason, but you didn’t do anything wrong. I-it’s me, I’m…” Still aware of the way he desperately held onto Castiel’s arm, he withdrew his hand, flushing, and looking away, aggravated and embarrassed. “This body responds like a girl’s. I don’t know how to control it, to control emotions and reactions. You aren’t making me uncomfortable in a general sense, Cas, I just…
‘It’s just different. Our interactions are just different. I’ve gotten use to your disregard for personal space, it doesn’t bother me anymore, but like this… it’s like I’m suddenly aware of it again when you’re close to me and my body just reacts and then I freak out because I can’t control it and-“
“Your body is responding to me as a woman to a man,” Cas stated simply, understanding, perhaps even curiously.
Dean’s face burned till it felt like even his hair must be glowing with embarrassment. Dropping his eyes, he just nodded guiltily, unable to look at the angel, and forcing himself not to fidget nervously.
“I’ve had the same problem,” admitted the angel, making Dean’s gaze snap up in surprise. “I thought perhaps you sensed it and that was part of what was making you uncomfortable. The… almost instinctive sense to treat you as a female, topped with the increased bond we have due to the newest sigil, the sigil that makes me even more protective of you, that draws us together like magnets so that we may always be able to find one another.” He shook his head. “I apologize. I did not know the sigil would amplify what we already felt, not to mention, those affects added onto you having to completely relearn the way your body reacts to stimulus… I should have realized and spoken to you sooner so we would not have avoided each other this past week.”
Dean blinked, pointedly making sure not to ruin breakfast even as they continued their discussion. “So my being hyperly aware of you whenever you’re in the room, that’s because of the sigil?” Cas nodded, returning to his own task as well. “Or when you’re in my personal space? Or when you accidentally touch me? Even when you’re upset? You’re saying the sigil has me majorly aware of all of that?”
“I did not know you would feel any effects of it.”
“So my insecurity isn’t just because I’m in a girl body?”
“I think that added to it. Females feel more than males do. The sigil amplified your feelings, then becoming female also amplified them, plus your unfamiliarity with that body, your own concerns and frustrations, they only compounded everything until you had no outlet, which led you to flee to the warehouse the other day when Sam attempted to tease you.”
“I fell apart, you mean.”
“You were overwhelmed and I knew of no way to help you,” he said softly. “I also knew part of the turmoil you felt stemmed from interactions with me. Sam went instead. I felt the soothing affect he had on you. I continued to stay out of the way because I did not know how to do the same or what I was doing that upset you so. I did not realize you were feeling the effects of the sigil.”
“So you are hyperly aware of me as well?”
Those blue eyes turned and found his. “Dean, I’ve always been attuned to you, it has only grown since the day I held your soul and raised you from Perdition. I had… adjusted to it, knowing it as a part of who I am now.”
Dean eyed him warily. “Are we married, Cas?”
A smirk made it’s way across the angel’s face, and he shook his head, amused. “No, we are not.”
“You would tell me, though, right? Before you did something like that? Even if it was a desperate attempt that would keep me safe or something? You would let me know we were married, wouldn’t you?” Cas had the audacity to actually chuckle, but Dean’s head was swimming. “Dude, seriously. I have been wigging out over this! I see us in my head, Cas! Like, all the time, even when we’re in the same room together, it’s like I’m standing in the corner watching us. I know when you’re indecisive or something’s bothering you, even if you give no indication, even if you aren’t even in the room with me! It’s like I’m picking up vibes or something, and then Sam was asking me questions I didn’t have the answers to and telling me things that are way left field for me, and can angels even get married or fall in love, because when he asked, I realized I didn’t even know! I hardly know anything about you, Cas! That bothers me!”
Reaching over to grab a large mason jar, Cas then grabbed the collinder and scrapped the cooked sausage into it, letting the grease drain into the jar. “First off, what you’re feeling is normal, so don’t worry about it like you are. Second, no,” he chuckled again, “we aren’t married. Yes, angels can fall in love and get married. It doesn’t happen often, though.”
“Why not?”
This seemed to catch Cas off guard, because he frowned, angling his head. His blue gaze was distant. “Because… because we are all soldiers in the field. We are a military organization. Not to mention, typically only angels that fall would even consider doing something as selfish as falling in love, the mentality to think for oneself really just isn’t there, therefore no personal choices. It’s actually rather frowned upon by the other angels.”
“Why?”
“Because loving someone makes them your highest priority, even above duty and function. You are more concerned with their well-being. It can distract from orders.”
Shaking his head, Dean busied himself putting together, folding up, and wrapping the breakfast burritos in tin foil before setting them aside, working with quick, efficient movements.
“Dude, no offense? I’m glad you rebelled against your family. They suck. You totally deserve to do something as simple as falling in love without getting dirty looks from your siblings. You deserve to be happy without having people get mad at you for putting Mission Objective second in your life.”
Their eyes met, Cas still looking vaguely amused for reasons Dean couldn’t fathom, before those blue eyes shifted when he began cleaning up their mess. “Falling in love is hardly easy. Well, maybe to do when you meet the person, but being in love with them hardly makes your life easier… from what I understand,” he added. “To reiterate, no, I am not mad at you, no, we are not married- for future reference, since I am the more powerful of us- using 'us' as a general example, you would have to make the request for marriage, like with the sigil I had to have your permission. The person with less power actually holds the most power in the relationship. Not to mention, if you ever have any questions, you are free to ask.”
Giving a curt nod, Dean tried to wrack his brain for anything he’d ever really wanted to know about Cas. Nothing really came to mind. What did it matter, really? He knew the important stuff: Cas was loyal, he was about family, he had Dean’s back in any situation, and he cared about the people Dean cared about. Seriously, was he suppose to start asking about Castiel’s thousands of years of existence before he met Dean? The friendships he’d forged? The things he’d seen or done?
Knowing all that would only make Dean feel like an insignificant insect by comparison, like, seriously, the guy had better things to do with hang out with the dysfunctional, danger-prone Winchester family.
“I do have a question for you,” Cas stated, taking things as Dean handed them to him and placing them on the table.
“Shoot.”
The angel was quiet a moment, making Dean glance back as the other man appeared to choose his words carefully. “What is the significance of a ‘hottie list’?”
In his mortification, Dean dropped the bowl he was holding, causing it to shatter all over the floor at his feet.
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Date: 2012-09-23 05:51 am (UTC)I'm just not fond of the cliche you've pulled here that becoming female=becoming emotional and weak, because we've plenty of examples from canon that disprove that and Dean himself is not a weak person. Also, as a queer person, I dislike the line " “Your body is responding to me as a woman to a man,”". Gender doesn't define who you're attracted to, who you're attracted to defines that. If Dean is attracted to Cas, it's because he's attracted to Cas, not because of his body.
Anyway, overall I do like this story, I just felt that I needed to comment on this because I do really like what you're doing with the plot and the characters and this really threw me for a loop because it seems very OOC and the rest of your story is pretty good so far as characterization goes. It's just sort of gone from being a fairly good story to feeling like something from a bad anime.
no subject
Date: 2012-09-24 03:54 pm (UTC)I won't argue on all the other points you mentioned, just know that if you found something offensive, it was not intended that way, so I'm sorry you took it that way and that it bothered you. If you do continue the story, I hope you enjoy it.