Fic: Since I Met You (Fem!slash: Becky/Savvy)
Friday, September 21st, 2012 03:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tenoko1Title: Since I Met You
Author: Tenoko1
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Homosexuality, sexual discussions, mentioning of sex toys, struggling with sexual identity. I think that’s about it.
AN: Apart of TPWC!verse, follow up to Savvy and Becky’s fledgling relationship. Takes place after the main story and before Dean and Cas’ wedding.
Summary: This is new. For both of them. And it’s scary as hell to boot.
Fic Master Post Here
Shuffling the boxes in his arms the best he could, Dean tried to peer around them and move through what seemed too narrow a doorway without plowing into the girl currently holding it open for him.
“Where do you want these?” he asked Savvy. The door shut behind him and suddenly the box on top was moving, being eased out of his grip and alleviating some of the strain on his arms, making him grunt in thanks.
Her ponytail swished around wildly as she glanced for an open space to place the boxes. They were becoming few in number. “Uh, just uh… here. Set it here. Thanks Dean.”
When he’d deposited the box, he stood back, hands on his hips to survey the chaos of Savvy and Becky’s new apartment. They had been living in a much bigger apartment, Savvy’s old apartment afforded from her life as a racer, but now that she’d retired and no longer had sponsor’s throwing money at her like she were a stripper on a pole, she and her girlfriend had downgraded to something far more reasonable.
As he looked around, Savvy was already opening boxes and unpacking on her own, prompting him to action to help.
“Where is everyone else? Thought you would have help.”
“You’re it,” she stated, unwrapping dishware with amazing speed and efficiency and putting things away. “Becky and Anna are currently holed up going through a bunch of Destiel videos I had saved on my PS3 and laptop since I asked Gabriel to magic me the second bag I always take with me whenever I needed to evacuate during hurricane season.” She waved vaguely over her shoulder. “Back when I lived on the other side, that is. He poofed the first one at the time and forgot the second one.”
Glancing at her over his shoulder as he set all the things in the decoration box out on the coffee table for her to arrange later, Dean questioned, “Destiel?”
“For the wedding,” she explained. “Anna thought maybe a montage of photos, but there aren’t all that many of you guys, that was when I told her about ya’ll being a show in my world, and that I have all kinds of fan made music videos saved.”
“Dean and Castiel,” he surmised. “Destiel. I get it.” He snorted and shook his head, returning to his task. “Not sure I’m cool with that. Sounds like ‘destiny’ or something chick ficky.”
“Make me a convincing argument that it wasn’t destiny, and I may consider it.” She tossed the now empty box in the corner with a pile of others and continued on opening the next one. “Fans do that, make one word to let you know which coupling they are talking about: Destiel, Sabriel, Samifer, Megifer, Megstiel, Sassy- which I think would be Sam paired with Cas, and how they came up with that, no idea, it seems to fit Sam and Gabriel better, because ‘Sassy’ is Gabe’s middle name, but whatever. Cas as God is Godstiel. Soulless Sam is Robo!Sam. It just a system to let other fans know exactly what you’re talking about. There’s all kinds of lingo and stuff. Becky speaks it a lot better than I do.”
Not wanting to examine the fan created couplings beyond what she had said, because really: Megstiel? Samifer? SASSY?
No.
Just… no.
“How are things with you and Becky?” he asked instead, more for something else to talk about and only a little bit of genuine curiosity.
“Fine,” she offered, and he nodded as though having already expected that answer. “We’re, um, we’re fine,” she repeated, this time fumbling and a little uncertain, her glanced over to see the way she jerked her head in a sharp nod as though convincing herself.
He straightened, turning to regard her. “Something wrong?”
She was staring at a decorative plate with a rooster on it like it held all the answers to the universe, her gaze distant. Apparently coming to some conclusion, she lifted and turned her head to regard him sharply.
“I’d like to talk to you, and while it may be weird for you, I think you are about the only one truly able to empathize with me on this one, and quite frankly, you got over it where as I can’t.” He arched a brow and eyed the door, wondering if he ought to get while the getting was good. “Dean,” she pressed, pleading, then sighed. “It’s just you and me here, no one will know, and if anyone asks, it never happened, okay?”
He still eyed her suspiciously. “Can’t say I’ll be any help, but what’s wrong.?”
“I’m not gay,” she blurted. His eye brows shot up, suddenly realizing why she was coming to him with this.
He softened and nodded his head in understanding. “But you care about Becky.”
“Obviously.”
He regarded her, head angled in confusion now. “But… the two of you are together. Have been for a spell now. You kiss, you hold hands. What’s the problem?”
“I’m not gay,” she repeated. “I’ve never been gay, having sex with a chick as never crossed my mind, worse still, sex has never held much appeal for me pretty much at all.”
“Oh.”
“Becky is not hitting this same roadblock. At all.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
He scratched at his chin and rubbed his hand across his jaw. “I see why you wanted to talk to me, then.” She was flushing bright red and not really looking at him.
“Did, uh, you have any problems with Cas? Being so out of your comfort zone?”
Sighing, he moved over to take a seat at the dining table, spinning the chair around and sitting on it backwards, his arms folding across the back of it. She followed his lead and settled into the seat opposite him, hands in her lap.
“Cas and I are not a great example to compare your relationship against. You’re right though, in a way, and I can totally understand where you’re coming from.” He took a deep breath, using his hands as he tried to explain. “When Cas and I got together, we took it slow at my insistence, but not because I was freaked out about switching teams. I didn’t switch teams, exactly, I fell in love with one person, not even a person, I fell in love with an angel who’s current vessel happens to be a guy. I was well over his outward appearance by the time we got together, he’s just Cas. Our going slow was because I wanted it for Cas, for him to have all the normal, basic, simple stuff, to have all the experiences in the normal progression. Not jump straight to the heavy stuff and then agree to do date night, understand? We dated first, for a long time, and no sex at all until I thought it felt like a right time to move things to a new level, still keeping all the other elements we had already established at that point, you know?
“Building a house, you start at the bottom and work your way up, right? I did that with him. Building on in what I thought would be the proper order, what would be a more normal relationship. Unorthodox, sure, since we slept in the same bed every night for most of it, which is something we got addicted too pretty fast from our stint with you. We eased back into that and we talked, a lot, actually. More than I really wanted, but, you know: communication is key or something. That’s what Sam’s always preaching at me anyway.”
He regarded the girl sitting across from him, the way she watched him with all the intent of a student during instruction. He could practically hear her taking notes in her head. COM-MUN-I-CATION=key.
Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, here is he! Dean Winchester: Life Coach.
Just when he thought his life couldn’t get anymore bizarre, people did random shit like ask him for advice. Like he was one to have any worth giving. Dean was better used as an example for life choices NOT to make.
Do NOT sell your soul.
Do NOT piss off TPTB.
Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstance piss off the angel that raised you from Perdition. EVER. One day he might throw you back in, and well, that would be awkward what with all the enemies you sent there yourself.
Chuckling, he shook his head and continued. “You and Becky just started dating, what? A month ago? Go as slow as both of you need. Explain to Becky where you’re coming from, meet each other half way, but don’t force yourself or you’ll just freak out later and make it worse.”
“Did you ever freak out on Cas?”
He held up a finger. “We’re a special circumstance. We are different. Giving in was easy; fighting it was hard. But again, he’s Cas, no matter who he looks like.”
She looked down guiltily, biting her bottom lip. “I don’t think I can have sex with her.”
He cleared his throat, coughing lightly and dropping his gaze to examine his interlaced fingers. “What’s, uh,” Groaning, he wiped a hand over his face. Yeah, he was so not cut out for this. If she wanted tips on how to be good in bed with a girl, well, he could write her a book, but this? He cleared his throat again. “What’s your main hang-up? Not a boobs girl?”
“Not a below the waist girl.” He frowned and she clarified, “I panic if hands start to wander below the waist. I’m still struggling not to freak out if they’re above the waist.”
He sighed. “Ouch. How’s Becky handling it?”
“Not having the same roadblock, like I said.”
“No, I mean, how’s she handling your roadblock?”
The girl across from him gave a jerky shrug, keeping her gaze downcast. “It’s…” She struggled and shrugged again. “She’s handling it. She’s nice about it, like she’s happy just being with me, and that’s so great of her, and I can never love her enough for it. I think she thinks in time, I’ll get over it, I really don’t know if I will.”
“Well, lemme say this,” he began, “if there are particular things that do not appeal to you- and no, I do not want to know details about what you and do not like-“
“Nothing really strikes me as appealing,” she stated flatly, and he looked up in surprise. Because, seriously. Sex in its most basic form ought to be highly appealing. “Some things are significantly less appealing, like oral-“ He groaned and threw his hands over his face, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to blot out that mental image. “-freaks me out completely when in the context of another girl, and the thought is unappealing at best when used in a general sense.”
“That’s because we’re sitting at your dining room table discussing this like… like, shit, I don’t even know. It’s not suppose to be appealing, it should be damn awkward to talk about.”
“It is,” she snapped. “But you are the only person who might be able to relate, thus I came to you for help. I am way, way, WAY out of my element here. I am trying to deal here, and failing miserably.”
Dean lowered his hands to look at her. “No, you are trying to force. You cannot force yourself to suddenly be okay with something that gives you the squicks. Go slow and move at a pace you’re comfortable with, Becky will deal. She practically worships the ground you walk on, and I’m so glad it’s you and not my brother anymore. Sam and I cannot thank you enough for that. But seriously, if sex is unappealing to you, and you’ve at least eventually tried it and are still uncomfortable with it, well, that doesn’t mean you and Becky can’t still be together.
“There are couples out there that can’t have sex with each other for all different reasons. You can still make it work if you have the right foundation down. If you’re not into sex and she is, well, frankly, toys exist for a reason, and I’m sure Becky can cope.” Her face flushed such a deep scarlet, Dean was pretty sure she was scandalized by his simple suggestion, making him smile. She was a really innocent, good girl. It was kind of adorable. “If, uh, certain acts with Becky do not appeal to you, there are others and there are still toys.” Neither of them were looking at each other again, Dean letting his gaze drift to anything but her as he spoke, gesturing vaguely to the desk and laptop on it. “And there’s the internet and websites and support forums, yes, I did research before I went that level with Cas. We both did. Basic knowledge of what to expect makes things a lot easier and helps you cope. No porn for you at first though, not the regular porn anyway.” He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll give you a list of websites I checked out and found really helpful. They have videos that are, uh, not glamorized or intimidating. They have all kinds of information, and cater to those completely new to the experience and are freaking out or just curious.”
She was bobbing her head, still not looking at him.
“Do you sleep in the same bed?” Looking guilty, she grasped her bottom lip between her teeth, gaze slid to the side and gently shook her head. “Try it,” he suggested. “Cas and I shared a bed for six months before we… y’know. It’s, uh, nice. After your place, we couldn’t sleep on our own anymore. Which I never thought would ever be an issue for me, but whatever.”
He regarded her a moment, really looking at her, the way she wouldn’t look him in the eye and seemed hunched and small, looking guilty and miserable.
“Hey,” he said softly, moving to try and catch her eye, waiting until he had before speaking. “Becky loves you. Like, loves you. It’s not a crush like what she had on Sam, some form of hero worship, or when she dated Chuck. You’re her best friend. You know everything about her, really, her quirks and flaws, and you like her just the way she is, right? Still want to be with her, right?” She nodded. “Why not extend her the same courtesy? Trusting her to feel the same?”
---
It was hours later, and Dean was already long gone. Becky had gotten home while Dean was still there and between the three of them, they’d gotten all the boxes unpacked and out of the apartment, even if that simply meant many things were stacked and arranged on whatever flat surface or pile in the corner or shelf to be fully dealt with later when the girls would decorate and redecorate the apartment until they had it the way they liked.
The two girls had ended up popping in a movie to watch, stretched out and curled together on the couch. Savvy was on her back with Becky wedged between her and the back of the couch, the other girl’s head on Savvy’s shoulder. Absently, Sav was stroking the blonde’s hair as they watched the movie, every now and then Becky would give a contented sigh and snuggle closer, making her wonder if she hadn’t put the girl to sleep.
Becky gave another such sigh, and gave Savvy a light squeeze, both of them regarding each other. Becks was smiling. “I’m happy,” she sighed.
Smiling fondly back, Savvy said, “I’m glad.”
Still grinning, Becky pushed herself up and forward, stretching to press her mouth against the other girl’s. Just a chaste kiss, Becky pulling back just a fraction, regarding her girlfriend for a moment before pressing their mouths together again, a gentle slid of mouth together, tentative, as Savvy lifted a hand to tangle in her hair, and Becky moved to a better position and leverage, one hand at Savvy’s waist while the other snaked around the back of Sav’s head and pulled her mouth harder against Becky’s.
Despite what she’d discussed with Dean earlier, kissing was in no way a problem for Savvy. She very much liked kissing. She even liked the wandering of hands, the whole fear of will they skim along innocently or would one of them venture a little bolder this time? If one of them were a little bolder, would the other girl be okay with it? Savvy really kinda wanted to get a little bolder, to explore new territory, but the thought also scared her half out of her mind.
Arm snaking around Becky’s small waist, Savvy maneuvered them so that now she was the one on top, looking fondly down at the blonde as she released a giggle, before Savvy dove back in for another kiss. Tongues met and glided against one another, Savvy supporting her weight on one elbow and letting her other hand trail down the blonde’s side, down the soft cotton of her shirt, then the rougher denim of her jeans, liking the way the pressed against each other the more heated the kisses got, the way Becky wriggled and pressed and pulled and grabbed.
Savvy had bizarre urge to roll her hips forward, to grind their hips together, which was dumb, part of her brain reminded her, she didn’t have the equipment to tease with. But that didn’t make the urge go away, especially with the way Becky had brought up one knee and kept rubbing it against Savvy’s hip almost unconsciously.
The blonde’s hand skimmed under Savvy’s shirt, explorative fingers brushing over Savvy’s ribs tentatively, as if waiting to see if she would be turned away from this small contact, if it was okay. Savvy kept kissing her, leaving her lips to mouth at the other girl’s neck instead, biting gently only once, just to see what would happen.
Their mouths met again, just as hungrily, Becky growing braver as they continued to press hard against each other, shifting to find better angles for themselves, how they could better press against one other, brushing hair of the way. One of Becky’s hands came up to cup Savvy’s breast, thumb smoothing over the material of her bra, Savvy wanting, wanting, wanting the contact, that is wasn’t enough, but oh, don’t, don’t, don’t, both girls, both girls, both girls, no it’s fine, don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic.
And well, yes, she was boob girl, thank you very much, Dean Winchester. Or at least, she was when she’d been on the receiving end in the past for such touches, and frankly, she was very curious to explore that part of her girlfriend, she just… hadn’t. Yet. Hadn’t yet. Hell, making out like this was actually progress considering just kissing Becky at first had nearly sent her reeling backwards in panic.
This was never something she’d grown up considering a possibility. Never gave it a thought at all, actually. She liked guys.
Then angels had gotten involved and they'd been thrown into each other's lives.
Savvy hadn’t expected for their friendship to turn into this.
Becky’s tiny hand had slipped under the restricting garment and flicked over the sensitive nub and Savvy had hissed at the sensation, digging her fingers into the blonde’s hip, raking her nails down the denim of her thigh.
Becky rolled her hips, pressing herself against the thigh between her legs, wanting contact, pressure, friction, groaning when she got it.
That snapped Savvy back to reality and she reeled back, practically throwing herself to the opposite end of the couch, staring at her girlfriend with wide, terrified eyes.
“I-I’m sorry,” Savvy sputtered softly, as Becky watched her with dilated eyes and swollen lips. “I-I…” The words fell off, because she didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to voice everything she was feeling.
Pushing herself into a sitting position, Becky regarded her in confusion. Savvy wondered if she didn’t know how to voice her feelings either, because for a long moment they just stared at each other.
Seemingly having worked through whatever their current situation meant, Becky smiled and reached for Savvy’s hand, pulling her hand forward.
“C’mon, let’s finish the movie.”
Savvy went, the two of them settling back down into their original position, this time far less contentment on Savvy’s part. She felt guilty for her reaction, though she really was trying.
She kissed the top of Becky’s head, smoothing the girl’s hair once again. “I’m sorry.”
“It’ll work out. We’ll get past this.”
Savvy frowned at the ceiling, unable to bear looking at the girl relaxed by her side. “What if I can’t? What if I’m, like, asexual for you or something? I still look at you and think ‘mine’ and I get jealous and possessive and protective, but I still can’t… y’know.”
“We’ll get through it.” She shrugged. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll try, and if we’ve exhausted every avenue, and you still aren’t comfortable moving our relationship to a sexual level? We’ll deal.”
Savvy did look down then, regarding the top of the other woman’s head until she looked up and their eyes met. “How can you be okay with that?”
Becky rolled her eyes and settled back down her head on Savvy’s shoulder. “You’re my best friend. Really? You told me someone who loves me would never make me change for their sake. Why would I make you change for mine? It is what it is, and we’ll get through it.” She looked up again and flashed a grin. “Besides, I really think you’ll get through it and we’ll find a sex life that works for us.” Grinning wickedly, she pushed herself up, pressing kisses to Savvy’s skin, butterfly kisses across her jaw and brushing across her mouth. “Besides, if sex with a girl still doesn’t sound appealing, we can have a session of you watching me use toys and see if that doesn’t get you in the mood.”
Savvy barked in embarrassed laughter, shocked by the blonde’s words and the mental image that provided. They kissed again, laughing and smiling against each other’s lips, before they settled back down and had to rewind the movie so they knew what was going on.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too,” admitted Savvy, giving the other girl a gentle squeeze, feeling a lot more at ease than she’d felt in a long time.
The End.
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Mis
Date: 2012-09-21 09:54 pm (UTC)Awwwwwww
Awwwwwww!
There is too much awesome in this honey!!! Dean as life coach, yeah, I giggled hard at that. It was so very endearing, the talk they had. Dean has grown up into a wonderful loving man :) I really like that Savvy loves Dean and trusts him enough to trust him with such an intimate situation. I would almost expect her to turn to Sammy for help, but this was so special.
i guess I never thought about Savvy being insecure, I think i would almost picture Becky to have issues, considering she's been so hetero, and obsessed with hunky Winchesters, lol. And Savvy seemed so secure when she planted that kiss on her in front of Becky's school rivals. I always see her as so strong, so it was really interesting to see her out of her element. Becky, oh Becky, she is so awesome seriously. She will deal with it if Savvy can't do the sex thing, she'll just use toys and have Savvy watch, lol, wicked girl!
Pretty hot, fan myself action with what intimacy they did share. A new thing for me, considering my total obsession with pretty boy sex lol.
i really do love this, think you did a great job. you know what, you could actually do a verse with these two, I know I'd read. But then, i would read the ABC's if you wrote them ;)
you know I love you, right?!
Re: Mis
Date: 2012-09-21 09:59 pm (UTC)Well, when Savvy kissed Becky in front of those other girls, she was just protecting a friend and being a bitch to the mean girl trio. It wasn't sexual, more acting than anything, and she didn't think about it.
Sammy is understanding, but he wouldn't be able to RELATE. Dean can, so that's why she went to him for help, because he'd been in her shoes, sort of.